Are you complaining about your toddler's behavior to others? Toddler frowns on this. "Your personal frustrations with your toddler's lifestyle are no reason to ruin her relationship with Santa," the toddler writes. "That's called snitchery and is frowned upon in most social circles. Grandma is also uninterested in your wild tales, so please keep them to yourself. Spreading news about others is gossip and a sign of a weak moral compass."

Erik Kellar/AP Images for Macy's