1. They should keep their eyes open for Justin Bieber or Dakota Fanning at freshman orientation.
2. They have always lived in cyberspace, addicted to a new generation of "electronic narcotics."
3. The Biblical sources of terms such as "forbidden fruit," ''the writing on the wall," ''good Samaritan," and "the promised land" are unknown to most of them.
4. Michael Jackson's family, not the Kennedys, constitutes "American royalty."
5. If they miss The Daily Show, they can always get their news on YouTube.