Rubin suggests responding to the spirit in which a gift is given rather than the gift itself if it doesn't immediately bowl you over. Rubin loves gardenias, so once, her husband brought her home a massive gardenia plant. "'Thanks,' I said weakly. 'It's so... big.' Inside, my thoughts were about my own limitations: 'Where will I put it to display it properly? Can I take care of it? I'm sure to kill it in just a few days, as I always do, and that will be so upsetting. What a waste.'... Jamie's gift set off a reaction of self-doubt, so I didn't respond with the enthusiasm that such a thoughtful gift should have provoked. My husband knew I loved gardenias, so he bought me the biggest one he could find!"
