American Idol unveils Top 13 and Jimmy Iovine tells it like it is

American idol: With more than 33 million votes and 3 wildcards, the Season 11 finals of American Idol have officially begun.  Did your favorite make the the top 13?  And what choice words did Jimmy Iovine have for them?

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Photo: Business Wire
Jimmy Iovine, chairman of Interscope Geffen A&M Records. On Thursday night, Jimmy returned to American Idol with some choice words for the semifinalists.

On Thursday night, American Idol delivered their third two-hour show of the week.  With Ryan Seacrest at the helm the show never felt rushed nor did it feel significantly drawn out.  Anyone who watched Ryan's counterpart, Steve Jones on The X Factor last season, knows that keeping time in a live show is something of an art form.  Ryan Seacrest is an artist.  Steve Jones is . . . well, unemployed.

The 25 semi-finalists were introduced with all the pomp and circumstance we've come to expect from American Idol and for almost half of the contestants, it would be their last time on the Idol stage.  Many of them were probably happy to escape after hearing record producer, Jimmy Iovine's blunt assessments of their performances.  Jimmy's comments mirrored so much of what was written in this blog, some may have wondered if Jimmy had been blogging under the pseudonym of Jodi Bradbury.  Of course, that theory was quickly dispelled when it became obvious that he possessed none of the natural charm and charisma that must abundantly radiate from every pore of this blog's author.

In fact, Jimmy was downright cruel at times, pointing out that while he got Heejun's "schtick" it was American Idol not American Comedian. And he called Creighton Fraker screechy and annoying.  Tempering such outlandish remarks were more accurate observations like Shannon Magrane needing the help of a stylist and Aaron Marcellus's performance being cheesy, despite the standing ovation by the judges.  Jimmy then proved that, while he may lack the joie de vivre necessary to be a truly captivating blogger, he does have the right instincts to be a big-time music producer by stating that Phillip Phillips is a true original and that he would sign him on the spot.

Thankfully, America agreed with Jimmy's assessment of Phil and he was the first contestant to be declared safe.  Nine more contestants followed suit and together they comprised Season 11's Top 10:

  1. Phillip Phillips:  Naturally.
  2. Jessica Sanchez:  Deservedly.
  3. Hollie Cavanagh:  A pleasant surprise.
  4. Joshua Ledet:  Jimmy wants to stop Joshua from turning his performances into Sister Act III.  Amen!
  5. Heejun Han:  When Ryan asked Heejun what he thought of Jimmy Iovine's comments, Heejun responded with, "Who's that?"  He deserves to be in the finale just for that comment! 
  6. Skylar Lane:  The country girl of Season 11.
  7. Shannon Magrane:  If she starts choosing better songs and better clothing, she could go far.
  8. Elise Testone:  Pulling off an Adele song automatically qualifies you for the Top 10.  
  9. Colton Dixon:  Reel, it in Colton, you don't need to jump up and down on pianos to get our attention.
  10. Jermaine Jones:  Wow . . .didn't see that one coming.

This left thirteen contestants praying for a chance to earn one of three wild card picks by the judges.  But only the following six were asked to sing for their lives:

  1. Jen Hirsh:  Good performance but nothing earth shattering.
  2. Jeremy Rosado:  Maybe being nice is enough, Jimmy!
  3. Brielle von Hugel:  She shouldn't have even been given a second chance, but the judges gave her one and then panned her performance and crushed her dreams.
  4. Deandre Brackensick:  Not sure about this guy, but the judges seem to love him.
  5. Erika van Pelt:  She took on Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory" and proved that America got it wrong.
  6. Reed Grimm:  What a waste of a second chance.

The judges ultimately saved Jeremy Rosado, Deandre Brackensick and Erika Van Pelt.  Which meant we had to say goodbye to 12 contestants in total:

  • Chase Likens
  • Hallie Day
  • Adam Brock
  • Baylie Brown
  • Chelsea Sorrell
  • Aaron Marcellus
  • Creighton Fraker
  • Eben Franckewitz
  • Reed Grimm
  • Brielle von Hugel
  • Jen Hirsh
  • Haley Johnsen

The losses of Creighton Fraker and Hallie Day were sorely felt, others like Haley Johnsen and Baylie Brown were easier to make sense of.  Now the moment you've all been waiting for, Your Humble Blogger's prediction results!

Drumroll, please . . .

62%  or a D-

Hmmm, now I know how Haley Johnsen feels.

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