‘Your search is over’

My husband was a career military man in the United States Army. After being stationed in Germany for five years, he volunteered to serve in Vietnam in 1967. I was expecting our third child at the time, so our two daughters and I moved to New York to stay with my parents for the duration of his 13-month tour. The thought of having this baby with the support of family filled me with joy.

But that joy was short-lived, for our newborn died in the hospital the day she was born. I never even got to see or hold her.

I was devastated, grief-stricken, and very angry with God, as I thought He had let this happen. I didn’t know who God was or if He really existed.

That started my search for answers. Initially, I read many books and started looking into some very odd and questionable philosophies, which I soon abandoned. I prayed that if there was a God, He would be a loving God and would lead me to truth.

At the end of the 13 months, my husband was stationed in Hawaii, and we joined him there. By then I was steeped in Eastern philosophies and even attended talks by a famous guru. But all this left me cold, and I knew I had to keep looking for truth and a God I could believe in.

After nearly a year, I began reading up on mainstream denominations and attending church services. While these were ultimately disappointing, I felt I was on the right track and getting closer to finding what I was looking for. I was not going to give up.

First I visited different services on base, then the many churches in the nearby town where we lived. One day I found myself pulling into the parking lot of a Christian Science society.

It did not look like a church at all, so I hesitated to get out of the car. Then the thought came to me that if there was a God, it must have been He who had led me here. So I must go in and see if they had what I’d been seeking for so long.

I will never forget the moment I opened the door of the car. It felt as though I were hearing the famous “Hallelujah” chorus from Handel’s “Messiah” and a voice saying, “Welcome home! Your search is over.” I felt embraced. Love was all around me. I felt like I was in heaven. I seemed to float across the parking lot, up the steps, and into the church. I don’t remember hearing a word of the service, but I felt I had finally come home.

The following Sunday I went back, and this time I listened to the powerful truths being read aloud from the Bible and from “Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures” by Mary Baker Eddy. Upon my asking where I could get that book, an usher loaned me a copy, for which I was most grateful. I could not wait to get home and read it.

As my understanding of Christian Science grew, I joined that Christian Science society and never missed a service. The Wednesday testimony meetings were my favorite. There I learned how Christian Scientists healed all manner of problems by applying the same truths Jesus taught his followers. There were testimonies about healings of diseases, financial problems, and work or school issues, and many more.

I was gradually learning that God is good and loving. He doesn’t send evils and hardships to us. These result from thinking that we exist separate from, or without, God, and we are healed as we understand our oneness with Him and our likeness to Him as His spiritual offspring.

Most important, Christian Science helped me overcome the anger and grief that had consumed me. I learned that God is our Life and that Life is eternal. This gave me the comfort of knowing that my dear child continued to live and thrive as God’s pure expression.

I asked many questions and studied Science and Health and Mrs. Eddy’s other writings as often as I could. Through it all, I learned how to heal myself and others through prayer, and I have been a devoted church member and Christian Scientist ever since. The blessings my family and I have experienced through Christian Science are innumerable. My gratitude for this wonderful Science is more than I can put into words.

Adapted from an article published in the Feb. 12, 2024, issue of the Christian Science Sentinel.