Waking up to wrongdoing
A guy asks his dad for his inheritance right then. His dad gives it to him, and the son heads off to a distant land, where he squanders it all. Then a famine arises, so he has neither food nor money. He gets a job feeding pigs, and things are so desperate that he yearns to eat what the pigs are eating.
At this point, it hits him: It doesn’t have to be this way! He decides to travel back home, admit to his bad decisions and behavior, renounce his status as son, and ask his dad to take him on as a servant.
This is the first half of a parable that Christ Jesus told (see Luke 15:11-32). Haven’t we all been there, to some extent? Even if we haven’t hit rock bottom, perhaps we’ve behaved in a way that doesn’t reflect our best self, losing sight of what’s good and true about one’s identity.
How do we get to that moment of humble realization that (a) we’ve gone down the wrong path and (b) there is, in fact, a way forward and out?
My favorite line in the story comes at the moment when this guy has that very realization. The Bible says that “he came to himself.”
This suggests that this guy always had it in him to express wisdom, humility, and integrity. The self-centeredness, recklessness, and capriciousness were a disguise of sorts – not part of his genuine self. I like to think of “coming to himself” as gaining some degree of awareness of his better nature – his true nature.
Christian Science, which is based on the Bible – including Jesus’ teachings – expands on the idea of our true nature. It explains that we’re so much more than the fallible mortals we seem to be. We’re God’s children, the reflection of the divine Spirit – and therefore not mortals at all, but entirely spiritual and good, reflecting God’s own nature.
This means that our true identity is characterized by unselfishness, compassion, joy, and more. That’s how God made us. So we’re all divinely equipped to let those kinds of qualities take the lead in our lives.
This doesn’t absolve us of bad behavior. On the contrary, it offers a strong foundation for waking up to wrongdoing – thoughts and actions that aren’t consistent with our true identity as God’s loving, intelligent, principled spiritual offspring – and then making amends and doing better moving forward. The textbook of Christian Science, “Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures” by Mary Baker Eddy, assures, “Know thyself, and God will supply the wisdom and the occasion for a victory over evil” (p. 571).
I experienced this in a modest but encouraging way when I was growing up. There was a period when I would steal things – a sticker from a friend’s desk, an eraser from the elementary school store, a dollar from my dad’s wallet, that kind of thing. I knew it was wrong but would do it anyway.
Then one day in my Christian Science Sunday School class, we played a game where the teacher would hold up an index card with a quality written on it, and we students would decide whether it described the nature of God’s children. If it did, we’d lay it on the table; if not, we’d drop it on the floor.
The table became covered with adjectives like “truthful,” “fair,” and “kind,” and the vibe on the floor was more like “dishonest,” “selfish,” and “unprincipled.” I felt so drawn to the table qualities, to the extent that the floor cards struck me as describing a shadow of an individual, not anyone’s actual self. They just didn’t seem legitimate or substantive.
From that morning on, I never again felt that impulse to steal. And I found ways to recompense – with interest – those I had taken from, and was met with forgiveness.
On a greater scale, the guy in Jesus’ parable finds forgiveness, too. His dad celebrates with joy the return of his son, who “was lost, and is found.”
If we go astray, losing sight of what we truly are as God’s spiritual offspring, we’re not doomed to remain there. God’s redeeming, reforming Christ message is active at every moment, helping us to know our true selves and to let our innate goodness shine through in our lives.
