Lifting up relationships

Good relationships are of interest to most of us. When they are supportive and uplifting, that’s great. But sometimes they seem to be less supportive than hoped for or even pulling us down, and that’s not so great.

I read in the news the other day about a country whose predominant alliance with another country is based on a common enemy, rather than a mutual appreciation of higher values, such as freedom. It got me thinking more about how relationships can be lifted up to bless everyone in a common good.

So if we feel the need for elevating our relationships, where can we begin? One place to start is with the universal truths of the Bible, which exclude no one. The Bible is filled with stories that illustrate God’s ever-present help and care when things are less than peaceful between individuals.

One example is the story of twin brothers Jacob and Esau, whose relationship hit rock bottom. Jacob, the younger of the two, deceived his father in order to get his blessing, which according to custom should have gone to Esau. He then found himself fleeing from Esau’s raging determination to kill him.

Although there is no way to really know what the brothers were thinking through all the many years of their estrangement, Jacob was a praying man who knew the importance of obedience to God. One night Jacob had a mighty battle within, in which he was so changed that he took on a new name.

Following this experience, Jacob and Esau met and reconciled. As The Voice renders it, Jacob said to Esau, “Seeing your face again is like seeing the face of God, so graciously and warmly have you welcomed me” (Genesis 33:10).

“Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures” – the textbook of Christian Science, written by Mary Baker Eddy – lends spiritual understanding of what Jacob won through his battle within: “The result of Jacob’s struggle thus appeared. He had conquered material error with the understanding of Spirit and of spiritual power. This changed the man.... He was to become the father of those, who through earnest striving followed his demonstration of the power of Spirit over the material senses; ...” (p. 309).

The teachings of Christian Science honor the biblical name Spirit as a synonym for God, the sole source of everyone’s identity. Made in God’s likeness, this identity is entirely spiritual. This means that all of us as God’s children reflect spiritual qualities – such as purity, peacefulness, harmony, and right desire.

We can glimpse through prayer something of everyone’s true nature in the figurative “face of God.” This lifts our perspective above the material picture, helping us see that a relationship that’s difficult or even seems irreparable isn’t doomed. It opens the door to a change of heart and forgiveness, carrying forward the promise and possibilities that stem from our unity with God as God’s own likeness, and with each other as God’s spiritual offspring. Christ Jesus proved this powerful unity through transformed and healed lives.

I had an experience years ago that was a small window through which I could see that our indestructible oneness with God is ever available to turn to for guidance in uplifting relationships.

At the time I started college, I had been studying Christian Science for about a year. I was eager to apply, in my new college experience, the spiritual laws of goodness that I’d been learning meet every need. So when my roommates – who were both sophomores, while I was a freshman – treated me quite coldly at first, my response was to prayerfully consider the God-derived and God-empowered qualities that make up the spiritual identity of everyone. I mentally affirmed that divine Spirit expresses itself in us, its beautiful creation. That’s our true nature.

This enabled me to be kind, understanding, and compassionate with my roommates, even in the face of their coldness. And soon they began to act in the same way toward me. The coldness, which had no place in infinite Love, melted away. Later my roommates told me that their original plan had been to get rid of me as their roommate as soon as possible. Instead, we enjoyed the whole year rooming together and built a relationship that included sharing some of the deeper thoughts of our hearts.

Whatever the human circumstances, we can hold our relationships within a higher, spiritual view. Letting a God-inspired view of others guide our interactions, we can expect with quiet joy to see improvement or changes wherever needed for the benefit of everyone.