Never-ending supply

I was loading dishes into the dishwasher one night, thinking, “If only I didn’t have to spend money on the babysitter’s food, I could make some headway on my debt.”

I know that sounds kind of crazy. Really, how much money could I have saved? But that’s how pinched I felt at the time.

Right then, I got what I call a God thought. It didn’t come from me. I had been feeling panicked and was trying to figure out ways to save money, as well as to make money by selling some of my belongings. But this message was peaceful and reassuring: “Don’t worry. You’re not spending ‘your’ money on the babysitter. You’re sharing My supply [with a capital M, since God was talking]. It’s not going to run out.”

Wow! I had to think about that.

I immediately remembered this sentence from the Bible: “Freely ye have received, freely give” (Matthew 10:8). And I suddenly got a fresh sense of what it meant. If good comes consistently from God – and I’d had so many proofs in my life that it does – I didn’t have to hold on to it so tightly.

I quit thinking that I needed to stockpile good for my daughter and me, and began to see how much better it was to share with everyone the good that God is giving to me, and all of us, each moment.

This shift in thinking changed my life in big ways. First, I quit being mentally stingy. And I stopped being afraid. No more upset stomach as I paid my bill at the grocery store! I had a more expansive sense of real supply – spiritual supply. I started to see that the more I expressed divine Love, the richer I felt. I knew my sense of purpose couldn’t fall short at the end of the month, and my ability to reflect God’s intelligence was always ample.

Around this time, the father of one of my daughter’s friends asked the kids, “Are you rich, or are you rich rich?” He told them that people think money makes you rich, but family and friends and being a good person are what really make you rich.

Mary Baker Eddy, the discoverer of Christian Science, takes it even further. She writes, “God gives you His spiritual ideas, and in turn, they give you daily supplies” (“Miscellaneous Writings 1883-1896,” p. 307).

I became more grateful for all the good in my life. And as I did, I saw it grow. This was a big turning point for me. Within weeks, a beautiful apartment that I’d been on a yearslong waiting list for became available. It had a fabulous view – and it cost me significantly less per month. And then I got a better job with a much better salary. Even though I calculated that it would still take me another two years to catch up financially, I was able to pay off all of my debt within nine months, and I’ve been solvent ever since.

More to the point, I’ve been able to share my God-given bounty – without worry – since that moment when God let me know that there’s enough for everyone. The spiritual ideas that are constantly coming to us from God really do enrich our lives in just the right ways.

There’s more to the story, though. A few years ago I had to give up that apartment to make a move to another state for my job. My living expenses doubled, but my salary didn’t change. At first I was nervous about the move and thought my standard of living might be compromised.

Then I remembered God’s promise about supply not running out. I knew I could trust this statement from Miscellaneous Writings: “Never ask for to-morrow: it is enough that divine Love is an ever-present help; and if you wait, never doubting, you will have all you need every moment” (p. 307). Not only could I trust it, but I could also see it in practice. And I have.

I love my beautiful apartment, my savings account hasn’t suffered, and my life feels richer than ever.

Originally published in the Oct. 14, 2019, issue of the Christian Science Sentinel.