News In Brief

WELL, I RAN OUT OF STAMPS

When Jeevan Singh Bisht finished slaving over his love letter, it measured a whopping 295 yards and weighed 16-1/2 pounds, a newspaper in India reported. In fact, it was so big and heavy, the Indian Express said, that the government employee in the northern city of Meerut couldn't afford the 1,400 rupees (that's about $32) it would cost to mail. And who was supposed to be the recipient? His wife, whom he has seen only about 25 times in their 20 years of marriage - apparently because she lives with his family 300 miles away.

CALL IT A MEATY ASSIGNMENT

If George Albright has his way, the state of Florida could add a red-hot new Cabinet-level post: secretary of barbecue. He or she would be charged with promoting barbecue culture ... although without pay. "I am very serious," said the GOP lawmaker, who filed such a measure in the legislature. It turns out Albright is co-owner of two barbecue restaurants. No word on whether other legislators have given the proposal a grilling yet.

Teenagers weigh in on how their parents should behave

Parents, are you tired of your teenagers reddening with embarrassment when you're around their friends? Travis Goldman and Zack Elias have some helpful hints for you. The Massachusetts college freshmen have written a guide to things parents should never do, say, wear, buy, eat, or comment on in order to avoid humiliating them. "How Not to Embarrass Your Kids," a new 80-page manual published by Warner Books, spells out 250 don'ts. Among them, as compiled by The Boston Globe:

Don't tell your life story to the waiter or a store clerk.

Never go to the movies with your kids; or, if you absolutely have to, sit far away from them.

Don't yell out the answers to the the pre-movie trivia quiz.

Don't use the steering wheel of your car as a drum.

Don't cheer loudly for your kids when they're playing sports.

Don't call them by your pet nicknames in front of their friends.

Don't comment in public on how well another young person is dressed.

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